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Are you familiar with the concept of karmasutra?
No, I am not talking about the different creative sex positions to try in the bedroom. There is an “r” in the word – in case you just skim through and miss it – and, no, it’s not a typo.
Sorry! I can’t say the full word ever, even in writing.
I don’t know who came up with the description, but it made me LOL when I stumbled upon it.
There are times in life when we are given big, difficult challenges that knock us down to the ground.
Losing a job can be really stressing and discouraging, especially, when you have a spouse and children that solely depend on you financially. Finding a decent replacement might take awhile, but the bills keep coming every month.
Breaking up with the person you’ve been dating for years can be heartbreaking. You think that you are on the path to marriage. Then, he or she calls it quit out of the blue. You’ve made plans and painted the future together, but now it’s all gone.
Other times, life decides to go all out. Like a fire, it can burn everything to the ground. These challenges can completely alter the course of your life. For example:
- Getting a cancer diagnosis from your routine check up — You are happily living your life, and suddenly you have to deal with chemo, the negative effects of the disease and thoughts of death.
- Losing your house and all your belonging because of a fire or a tornado — The house and the life that you’ve built for your family are gone in an instant.
- Getting a divorce after 10-year of marriage or to lose a spouse due to an accident –You have been part of a couple for a long time. Most likely your sense of identity is closely tied to your beloved, and now that part of you is gone and you are left with a big hole in your heart.
The negative impacts of this enormous loss can send you to deep depression. You might feel lost, lonely, frustrated, hopeless and scared of the future.
It happened to me.
When The Going Gets Tough
I had to leave a place that I have called home for the past 16 years, move to the other side of the world, and start over. Even though, I didn’t suffer a literal fire that burned my house down, but the effects were the same. Losing my job, my car and most of my belongings hurt.
I don’t care (too much) about losing the material stuffs.The hardest part was losing the community that I had built over the years. I was active in church and the general community. On the weekends, I would go hiking and exploring new places.
Then, it was like I was thrown into the middle of nowhere, where I knew no one and could not continue on with the life that I had been leading – the life that I knew how to live.
I got into deep depression for the longest time in my life. I was physically hurting from the stress, disappointment, anger and guilt. My head hurt. My whole body ached. I cried myself to sleep and I cried when I woke up in the morning – when I first came into consciousness again and remembered what was happening. I slept a lot during the days because it was all just too painful.
Negative, toxic thoughts ran over and over in my head like a broken record. What did I do wrong? What could I have done to prevent this? Had it all been for nothing? My parents’ sacrifices to put me through college, the years that I have spent building my career…
My faith took a major beating too. If this was for my good, why did it hurt so much? Why didn’t God answer my prayers? Had I not been a good person? Why was God punishing me after I had been serving faithfully all these years? I couldn’t understand why all these were happening.
Slowly over time, though, I healed. It hurt less and less, and I started to rebuild my life – putting the pieces back together one by one.
When the going gets tough for you – if you are feeling alone, lost and depressed, I want to encourage you. No matter how dark the night is, dawn in breaking. There is hope.
I know it is hard to believe it when you are actually in these dark moments. It took me more than a year to begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But, keep moving forward one day at a time.
In the meantime, I hope you will find some inspirations and encouragement in this blog to get you through the dark time on how to:
- Take time to grieve the life that you have lost
- Learn to lament and pray
- Practice self-care
- Go within to find your strength
- Master your emotions. Feel your emotions, but don’t let them define you.
- Learn to let go of the things that you can’t control (the past), focus on the things you can control (the present) and hope for a better tomorrow
- Find support within your community
Know that you are not alone.
If you would like to reach out, comment below or subscribe to making LOL by email. We strive to encourage and help each other in this journey.
If you are super introvert and do not wish for the whole world to know what is going on in your world, message me directly. I would be happy to lend an ear to listen to your story or a shoulder to lean on, whichever body part you prefer… 🙂
It is never fun when life messes up with our plans in all of its creative ways.
But, these challenges are like a fire that refines and shapes us into a better version of ourselves.
A glass blower keeps putting the piece that he is working on into the fire to mold it into a masterpiece.
If the fire turns to be a raging wild fire that burns everything down in its path, remember that diamonds are made from ashes heated to 2,200 degrees F and put under 725,000 pounds of pressure (per square inch).
You are a masterpiece or a diamond in the making, whichever analogy you’d prefer to encourage yourself. Personally, I like the story of Phoenix rising out of the ashes. Nearing the end of its life, the Phoenix flies to the highest point of the world and sets itself on fire. Out of the ashes, the Phoenix is reborn to live a new life.
No matter what situation you find yourself in, I hope you learn to make the best out of it. If you need some encouragement and inspirations, stick around and join our community.
Let’s make some Lemons Out of Lemonade and Laugh Out Loud in this journey we call life.