The pine trees loomed overhead, darkening the road. Richard’s headlights lit the way. We trusted the car lights, just as we trusted each other. Sixty-two years of training to be cautious stayed with me. At the same time, I was thrilled to be eloping in the tradition of my parents, who also went to Reno on the 17th of the month. For a couple about to be married, we didn’t have much to say.
“A penny for your thoughts?” I finally said to break the ice.
“I was just thinking about all the cars that have LED headlights.”
Was this for real? We were on our way to a wedding chapel, and his focus was on headlights! No TV couple I ever saw was this complacent on their way to their own wedding. However, the shows had dramatic conflicts and high stakes. We only had two different histories and each other.
“I couldn’t turn the clock back or undo my past resistance. All I could do was see what happened next. Otherwise, I would never experience marriage,” I said in Never Too Late: From Wannabe to Wife at 62.
- Does this sound like you on your way to your first wedding?
- Or were you sure you were passionately in love?
- If you got married a second time were you more or less sure that you’d made the right choice?
Obviously I wasn’t sure that I was making the right choice as Richard and I drove to Reno to get married. It was my first marriage and his third.
- Does this sound unbalanced?
- What if he grew bored with me?
- What if he changed his mind?
- What if he was marrying me for financial security that I was not willing to supply?
These fears and more raced through my head as he had me look for a wedding chapel in Reno.
I wanted to experience marriage and knew Richard was a good man. Not only that, but I was 62-years-old. If I didn’t get married, I would always wonder what I’d missed.
Finding love can be complex. For example, how does a 62-year-old woman who’s never been married find happiness with a two-time widower seeking his third wife on . . . Craigslist!? Does she throw caution to the wind and relinquish her freedom, or should she take a crash course in compromises?
Richard and I have been married almost 6 years, and I know that the first step in finding love is being open to it. Relax, stop judging yourself, and stop looking for Mr. Right. There are all sorts of people who can be Mr. Right if you stop imagining him as being part prince, part warrior, part financier, and part slave to your wishes. If you’re sure you love someone, go ahead and say it. Six years after our marriage it still surprises me how often Richard says, “I love you.”
We both need each other; we both recognize it. If I were the angry, snarly woman I used to be decades ago, I would not have found either Richard or love. Softening, mellowing, and loving yourself are three more ways that you can open yourself up to finding someone to love.
About the Author
Lynn Goodwin owns Writer Advice, www.writeradvice.com. Her memoir, Never Too Late: From Wannabe to Wife at 62 was just released by Koehler Press.
She’s written You Want Me to Do WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers and Talent, which was short-listed for a Literary Lightbox Award, won a bronze medal in the Moonbeam Children’s Book Awards and was a finalist for a Sarton Women’s Book Award.
Goodwin’s work has appeared in Voices of Caregivers, Hip Mama, Dramatics Magazine, Inspire Me Today, The Sun, Good Housekeeping.com, Purple Clover.com and many other places. She is a reviewer and teacher at Story Circle Network, and she is an editor, writer and manuscript coach at Writer Advice.
She can be found online at:
Thank you, Ms. Lynn for sharing your heart-warming story and giving hope and inspiration to those who find love late in life.
So, what’s your love story, my dear readers? Are you one of the lucky ones that married your high school sweetheart straight out of college? Has love betrayed you and put you through a string of heartbreaks? Or has love eluded you all your life?
If you’ve read my last post To The Girl Who Wonders “Will I Ever Get Married?,” you know where I stand. 🙂
No matter if you’ve been single forever, are trapped in an unhappy marriage, or simply curious, you’ll find a love story like you’ve never had in Never Too Late.
“A vivid, engaging, and heart-warming tribute to that rare and wonderful thing: a late-in-life love.” Susan Wittig Albert, Ph.D, author of Loving Eleanor and The General’s Women
Check out her story in Never Too Late: From Wannabe to Wife at 62. It’s on Amazon at Never Too Late and on Barnes & Noble. Or your indie bookstore can order it through Ingram.
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